True Worship

   What is true worship? This week I was reminded that worship does not simply equal singing and reading the Bible. Don't get me wrong both of those are very much a part of it, but they do not define worship. "Celebration of Discipline" a book we are reading in class defines worship beautifully. "To Worship is to experience Reality, to touch Life. It is to know, to feel, to experience the resurrected Christ in the midst of the gathered community. It is a breaking into the Shekinah (glorious presence) of God, or better yet, being invaded by the Shekinah of God." 

   This hit me powerfully as I was reading it. So many times I go through the motions when I am singing or reading my Bible, I am not actually worshiping God, yet I convince myself that I am. This is especially true when my mind is elsewhere because I am thinking of my busy schedule or non-related things. I also have a hard time finding myself truly worshiping when I arrive all rushed to church and am not mentally, physically or emotionally ready. 

   I was convicted to change this, to practice a "holy expectancy". I decided that unlike most weeks I was going to get to church on time, in fact early. I was going to spend the time until church started doing some personal Bible reading and praying. This way once the service started I would be ready, my heart and mind would be at a place where I could really worship. 

  With this in mind I got up extra early on Sunday (I'm not a morning person so any time before 9am is early). And once I was ready to go I even had time to eat breakfast! I drove to church and was there early enough that I was driving into the parking lot as the first cars were leaving from the first service. I walked inside and since I was still pretty early I sat down at a table in the atrium and read a little bit from my Bible but mostly observed people talking and getting ready to leave. When I saw that some people were beginning to arrive I got up and headed into the sanctuary. I sat down, noticed how few people had arrived early and then read a couple psalms, one of which I want to share because I feel that it was perfect for what I was attempting to do.

Psalm 63

You, God, are my God,

earnestly I seek you;

I thirst for you,

my whole being longs for you,

in a dry and parched land

where there is no water.

I have seen you in the sanctuary 

and beheld your power and your glory. 

Because your love is better than life 

my lips will glorify you. 

I will praise you as long as I live, 

and in your name I will lift up my hands. 

I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods; 

with singing lips my mouth will praise you. 

On my bed I remember you; 

I think of you through the watches of the night. 

Because you are my help, 

I sing in the shadow of your wings. 

I cling to you; 

your right hand upholds me. 

Those who want to kill me will be destroyed; 

they will go down to the depths of the earth. 

They will be given over to the sword 

and become food for jackals. 

But the king will rejoice in God; 

all who swear by God will glory in him, 

while the mouths of liars will be silenced. 

    After having read this beautiful psalm, I lifted my heart in prayer. It was a beautiful moment where I felt like I was already worshiping. I opened my heart to God and praised Him for all the wonderful things He has done in my life, which are far too many to count. I also asked for his guidance in my life, I asked Him to help me hand the control over to Him. I still treasure this moment as I write about it.
 

     However, the service wasn't over, it was just about to start! This is where things became more complicated and I lost that connection I had obtained. I was saving a seat for some people and they were late. It's sad to think that something this small kept me from truly focusing on the songs as the service started, but it did. I became self-conscious because there were so many people looking for a place to sit and here I was with a seat on either side of me saved for someone. This in effect had me busily watching to see when they would arrive so that I would not have to see another person look at the seats and then realize I had them saved for someone else. I also felt... lonely because I wasn't standing directly next to anyone. It failed to make me feel the communal presence of the saints.

     By the last song my friends had arrived and I was now getting my focus back. I am very thankful that I have a pastor who knows how to capture people's attention in a sermon and also how to drive the point home because I once again felt God nudging my heart confirming to me that what the pastor was preaching on was true. Ironically the sermon was about reading your Bible on a daily basis. The verse he used is one of my favorites. "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work" (2 Timothy 3:16-17). As a church we are all reading through the New Testament in 8 weeks. Jeff Manion (Pastor at Ada Bible) through his sermon was encouraging everyone for this new series because he believes it will be life changing for us all, because that is what the word of God does. I am excited to see what new insights I get as I follow the program and read the same portion of the Bible everyone else from church is every day.

    This experience was not perfect by any means. But it was an improvement to many a Sunday where I have simply gone through the motions. I hope to continue improving in this area. I treasure the moments where I truly can feel God's presence moving me, I hope to be more open to God so that these precious moments can come more often.