Reflection Blog Post

1. Foster says spiritual disciplines are not designed to be the ends in themselves, but are intended to facilitate a person's journey into greater freedom in living a Christ-like life. How did your practice of the disciplines this semester (either some in particular or all together) help you grow in your faith in and obedience to God?

      Over the course of this semester I have noticed that I have been making baby steps. Each of the disciplines I practiced were wonderful and I truly enjoyed being able to practice them. However, I found it very difficult to keep them up after their prescribed week. I tended to simply focus on the discipline I was supposed to be doing instead of trying to integrate the other disciplines into my daily life as well. There were a few times where I did feel prompted to practice one of the previous disciplines but hose moments were few and far in between. 

      Yet, at the same time I do see growth within myself. I found that many things I learned in other classes or things I noticed throughout my every day life would remind me of different disciplines and reinforce the need to practice them. Another thing I noticed is my heart has been far more open to God's promptings, which relates to the discipline of solitude. Ever since I practiced the discipline of solitude, I feel that my heart has remained far more open and my mind more aware of what God is prompting me to do or things about myself that I need to change. I have also noticed the need to dwell deeper into my Bible readings and found myself once going over the same chapters as the previous day to see if I would get any new perspectives on them. One more area I have felt very convicted about is my prayer life, although I have not improved much I do feel the desperate need to.

      Overall I feel like my heart and mind are so much more aware and welcome of the various spiritual disciplines. I feel the lack in my life when I skip a day of reading my Bible or forget to pray over something important. I yearn to make it to a place where I can practice all of these disciplines on a more regular basis, but at the moment I am taking baby steps hoping that I can build upon what I have and create these healthy habits.

2. What were some of the distractions or hindrances that kept you from practicing, or practicing to the fullest, the assigned disciplines this semester? What does this show about yourself? How do you plan to address this area (or these areas) of struggle?

      I came to realize that I get so busy, between full-time school, a part time job, and volunteering at two places. My busy schedule seems to take over my life and leave me exhausted by the end of each day. I don't have a lot of extra time on my hands. I tend to become very selfish and self-absorbed during the hours I do have. I need to give my time to God and he will help me to calm down instead of turning to a quick episode of a TV show or a movie. 

      I also found that I like to have my phone on me and I like to be around people. Being around others or talking to people is what energizes me. This would distract me because I would put spending time with people before my devotions or the practice of whatever discipline it was I was doing at the time. When it comes to my phone, I have found that I easily fall into the temptation of texting people as I do my Bible reading or am supposed to be focusing on God. Essentially I was putting myself and others in front of God! I feel that sometimes when it gets really bad I need to get away from everything in order to have my full attention on God and not simply rush through my personal time with Him or multitask instead of giving God my undivided attention. I need to give  God preference. I pray God helps me to grow in this area of my life.
      
3.Identify three disciplines you think mesh together well and explain how you see them interrelating. How would you plan to practice them together?

      I feel that the three disciplines that would most easily mesh together and enhance each other are Solitude, Meditation and Prayer. Both Solitude and Meditation involve setting time aside and if possible finding a place where you are off by yourself and able to fully focus on God. However solitude focuses more on allowing God to be with you and show himself and meditation puts a focus on trying to focus on something particular about God like a passage or the nature surrounding you. Prayer can link the two of these fully by not only praying for insight on the focus of your meditation but also by taking the time afterwards to simply allow God to frame your thoughts as you pray. In fact I found myself employing both prayer and meditation when I practiced the discipline of solitude, I was also able to incorporate study into that time. It did not take much effort for these to work together, they simply do.

4. Identify one discipline you would urge a new believer to practice. How would you instruct them in the discipline? Why do you think this discipline is especially well-suited for a new believer?

      I would urge a new believer to pursue the discipline of study. I would help them find good books that they could be reading along with the Bible. I would stress that the most important book to be reading is the Bible but that other books can help us in our understanding the concepts and lessons in the Bible. I would also encourage them to compare the books they read with what the Bible says so that they do not simply take other people's opinions to heart without consulting to see if it is truly something taught in the Bible. I would also take the time to explain to them the benefits of learning through God's nature, get them to just sit outside and watch the world around them and how it works, so that they could see how God works through his world. I feel that this discipline is essential for new believers because it is important to not only live by faith but to strengthen our faiths through scripture. Also, it is important because the Bible is the authority on what it is to be a Christian and what our purpose is as Christians in this world. 

5. Spiritual disciplines fortify believers against some of the universal struggles and weaknesses all Christians have battled against. Identify and describe an area of weakness you observe in the Kuyper College student population. What spiritual discipline, if corporately practiced, would target this area of weakness and why?

     During my time at Kuyper I have come to realize that many of us struggle and often think about money. Not only that but material possessions as a whole. We bring our furniture, our TV's and gaming systems, clothing, food and find that especially in the dorms, there isn't room for all of it. Yet, we make it fit. Those who live close enough to home are even able to store some of their extra stuff at home. Most of us are in debt and yet, we still find ourselves purchasing things we don't need. I feel that this not something that is only true of Kuyper but of Christians in the US as a whole. This is why I feel that a discipline that would be good to practice corporately as a school is simplicity. Due to the fact this is an inner discipline that later manifests itself outwardly, the first step would be to get everyone to recognize how blessed they are and try to recognize what things are getting in the way of a closer relationship with God. Hopefully as everyone begins to reach simplicity we would be able to give our extra stuff away to people who actually need it. I include myself in this category. I am not there yet either. However, I do see this need.

6. What advice would you give to the next class of spiritual formation students at Kuyper College who will be practicing these disciplines?

      First of all, don't get too upset with the Proffesor when she first tells you that blogging is a requirement for this class :) I'm not sure that I would say it was always fun, or that I looked forward to it, but I was always happy after the fact when the new post showed up on my blog. 

     More important however are the actual disciplines themselves. Don't do it halfheartedly. Give it everything you have and you will reap the rewards of it. Not in grades, in a feeling of peace or inner contentment that comes when you feel like you had a true connection with God. Although you might get a better grade for it as well ;) I am so happy that I was able to truly do some of these disciplines, as for the ones I failed at, well it honestly made me sad. All this to say you will absolutely love this class, the discussions, your group time as you dwell on your spiritual autobiography, and especially the practice of the disciplines on your own!

Submission

     Upon first seeing that this weeks discipline to practice was Submission I was very confused. How exactly do you practice submission as a discipline in any situation? What came to mind is how the Bible call wives to submit to their husbands and children to their parents. So with this in mind, to me submission meant respect and to a degree it also made me think of heirerchichal relationships. The truth is Submission is a lot more complicated and beautiful than that.

     Submission gives us the freedom to put aside the heavy burden of always needing to have it our way. It is self-denial which means "the freedom to give way to others. It means to hold others' interests above our interests. In this way self-denial releases us from self-pity." Submission is not just a discipline that people who are lower on the hierarchy must practice, it is a discipline everybody has to practice. We see this in Jesus' life and teachings, he became a servant to all, and He is the King of Kings!

     One of the ways in which to act out submission is towars our neighbors and those we meet in the course of our daily lives. This entails small acts of kindness. "No task is too small, too trifling, for each one is an opportunity to live in submission." This is how I decided I would be acting out Submission this week. I would go through my days and if I saw an opportunity to do something nice for them I would do it. I also decided that it had to be wih a genuine, positive attitude.

     I did not completely flunk this discipline but I did get very distracted and forget a great many times. Truth be told I only clearly recognized twice the need for something to be done for someone. I did take those opportunities but as I think back on my week I can think of many more things that I could have done. The most obvious one was I noticed dishes in the sink at my apartment, including two pans, and the dishwasher full of clean dishes. None of them were my dishes but I decided that I would take care of it. I hate dishes, but I tried as best as I could to have a positive attitude.

     I came to realize that I get so busy, between full-time school, a part time job, and volunteering at two places I feel like I don't have a lot of extra time on my hands. I tend to become very selfish and self-absorbed during these hours. If I had not been so self-absorbed I probably would have noticed more things that I could do for others  but I was too busy thinking about myself and taking advantage of my free time. I hope to change this aspect of myslef. I'd love to be someone who practices self-denial. I want to be able to put my own wants aside in order to help with the needs and wants of others.

Never Alone

     I want to talk about yet another spiritual discipline this week, Solitude. This is a discipline that I have never really been good at because in my mind solitude was equal to loneliness. It did seem to be the case that whenever I was by myself, I felt lonely. However I was not practicing solitude, I was being self-absorbed and sad that no one else was with me. If you haven't guessed yet I am a people person and the way I get energy and excitement is by being surrounded by people, not by being on my own. Thus when I read the chapter in Foster's book, Celebration of Discipline, I was truly convicted that I had the wrong attitude about the time spent by myself. According to Foster's book "Loneliness is inner emptiness. Solitude is inner fulfillment". I need to keep in mind that I am truly never alone and I should cherish those moments when all other people are gone because then I have time to focus on my relationship with the one who made me without interruptions.

     Silence is an important aspect of Solitude, they work hand in hand. "Though silence sometimes involves the absence of speech, it always involves the act of listening." This makes it clear that it is truly a discipline that not only people like me need to work at but also those who enjoy going off by themselves. Solitude involves being open to hear God's voice, not to simply dwell on ourselves. "The purpose of silence and solitude is to be able to see and hear. Control rather than no noise is the key to silence." It is easier to simply decide not to speak for an amount of time than to decide what moments are worthy of speech. Just like it is easier not to eat any chips at all than to decide you are only going to eat two chips and then put the bag away. This is why it is a difficult discipline for all people no matter their temperament and this is why the practice of this discipline may look different for different people.

     In class we were also encouraged to practice solitude based on whether we seek out people or being on our own. Those of us who tend to find ourselves surrounded by people most of the time to seek out a place where we can be truly alone. Those who enjoy time alone to try practicing solitude in the midst of a group of people. This being the case I decided I would take advantage of the fact I would be at the farm with my parents over Thanksgiving weekend, so I would go out to a tree-house in the woods. I would take the time to read my Bible and then sit in silence and reflect on my surroundings, where I am at in life and where God is leading me, the whole time listening for God's voice.

     I intended to go out on Friday but I kept pushing it back because I wanted to hang out with people. Finally Saturday morning I bundled up took the quad and headed out to the woods to the tree-house. I read my Bible and I re-read the chapter allowing God to speak into my life and I truly believe he did. Certain sentences stood out to me that reminded me of a conversation I had earlier that morning with my grandmother. She had spoken to me about something that been on her heart and mind for a while and she had been praying about for me. That particular morning she had been up since 5 a.m. and had felt the need to pray for me, she then felt prompted to come and speak to me. I understood what she had been trying to tell me for the most part but once I was alone in the woods her words and the words from the chapter on Solitude and also the Bible reading I did all fit together like a puzzle and I understood what God was trying to get me to see, to understand.

     The truth is, I get very emotionally attached to people and tend to depend on them for happiness, I feel the need to be surrounded by the people I care about and to have their approval. The truth is... it's impossible to be around them all the time and it is especially impossible to make everyone happy about every decision I make. In fact the chapter talks about a monk who's reputation was being torn to shreds and how God asked the monk to trust God and He would take care of him. "Perhaps more than anything else, silence brings us to believe that God can care for us-- reputation and all." This was a hard pill for me to swallow, I have a tendency of defending myself to others when they misunderstand something I do or say. I try to hard to have everyone like me and approve of what I do. The important thing is that I follow God's command and that I allow Him to be the one who is my justifier.

     After being convicted by my readings about what I just shared I simply sat and allowed God to control my thoughts as I dwelt on this new and difficult concept. God showed me particular areas where I was trying to hard to gain people's approval. I was able to release this, I felt peace and freedom. I am now free to take things day by day and to follow my conscience which I believe is the inner voice God uses to direct my paths and also to follow the promptings from scripture and throughout the day without worrying as much how people will react to them. If things are meant to work out, God will make it happen and not me. I feel less stress and worry about my future because God is in charge and He truly knows what is best for me. The only opinion I need to worry about ultimately is God's, I want to make Him proud of me more than anyone else. This is what I will strive for.

     I am now not sure why I was dreading this discipline so much. I did not feel lonely at all, it was peaceful and relaxing even though I was freezing my butt off. God used this moment to come close and teach me something about myself and about something I was really holding on to. I did not feel Him next to me and I didn't hear a different voice outside or in my head. I heard my own voice in my head, but God was directing my thoughts and opening my eyes to look at myself and see why my grandma was concerned and what God was also concerned about, what I needed to change.

     Ironically I have been sick ever since Saturday morning. I woke up sick that day, but when I decided I was going to go God gave me the energy and while I was out there I felt fine, I hardly felt sick, it wasn't until I got back that I began feeling really ill again. I am still sick right now, but I feel God even used my illness to show me I have been constantly moving and not taking the time to just sit back and listen to Him. I have also had very important and meaningful conversations with others this weekend. I am so thankful I have begun to practice this discipline! I hope that I may continue to do so for the rest of my life. I mean the inner solitude, the listening, and not necessarily the going off to be by myself the rest of my life. However, I do feel it is important for me to occasionally go off to be alone with God, I need to that more often.

Simplicity

     This past week the new discipline we focused on from Richard Foster's book, Celebration of Discipline, was that of simplicity. Simplicity is freedom and it it is joy and balance."The Christian Discipline of simplicity is an inward reality that results in an outward life-style". What it means to live in simplicity is to have an inward view of the world and our surroundings that reflects that of God, one where we can put our own ambitions and desires aside and live knowing that all we have comes from God. "Simplicity is the only thing that sufficiently reorients our lives so that possessions can be genuinely enjoyed without destroying us".

     We need to inwardly accept that all that we need will be provided by God and that we need not worry or be materialistic. Once our mindset has been changed our actions will begin to change, we will put more thought into whether we should buy something or if it is unnecessary, we will begin to see what things we have become addicted to and put them aside. There are many more outwards fruits that result from changing how we we see things, an inward renewal.

     Considering the first step to simplicity is the inner renewal I decided to go through this past week paying attention to all the things I consume or find myself wishing to buy. Pinpoint the things that I find myself addicted to and all the things in my life that are off balance. I also decided to think about what I should limit myself in and what I need to completely cut off.

     There were a few times throughout my week that I would notice something and wonder what it would look like to live out simplicity in that situation. One example of this is I tend to be prideful at times about the grades I get in school, yet to live in simplicity is to recognize that it is only through the gifts God has given me and through His guidance and help that I achieved those grades and subsequently certain scholarships. God knows that I need this monetary help and He is the one who gave it to me through these scholarships, and through my grades. It is so hard to let go of my own achievements at times... I find that it makes me feel more confident in myself but my confidence should be in Christ.

     Another way in which I noticed the lack of simplicity in my life is how much I like clothes. Yep, I'm someone who loves to shop. I don't usually go to malls and I refuse to buy anything over $20 unless it is jeans or a dress. However, no matter how good I am about getting things that are cheap, I still get too much. I believe that getting new clothes every once in a while is not bad, in fact it is a way in which I can express myself creatively and God made me creative, as He is creative. The problem is how often I go or the thought I get at times when I am growing sick of the same outfits and I "need" new clothes. Truth is I don't "need" new clothes, I already have more than necessary. This is going to be a tough one for me, I hope that God will help me improve in this area and that He will show me the things that I truly need.

     I can't say whether I succeeded or failed this week... It's a process and I am taking the first steps. I hope that it eventually gets to the point where there is an outward simplicity in my life. I'm not going to force it and I am not going to fake it. I am going to go step by step and allow God to guide me so that when the time comes outward simplicity will just flow out of me naturally. I want it to be sincere, to reflect the simplicity that I have yet to reach on the inside.

   

My Spiritual Autobiography

     My faith journey began in Tijuana, Mexico, where I have spent the grand majority of my life. I was actually born in Costa Rica but my family moved to Mexico to be missionaries there when I was only four months old, thus my earliest memories are of Mexico. I have been blessed to grow up in such a wonderful Christian family and such a loving environment. For the most part I had a very easy childhood, not to say I didn't have struggles but when I compare my life to that of others I thank God for the childhood I had.

     I do not know the exact age I was when I became a Christian but I do know that I was still very young. As far back as I can remember I have always known and I mean truly known that there was a God who loved me deeply and that this was the God I heard about at church and constantly from my loving parents.I also felt called to a life of service to God at a young age. I first started saying I wanted to be a missionary when I grew up somewhere around the age of five.

     I went to Mexican private school for elementary and then for middle school i was in their public school system. I remember talking to the teachers and my classmates about my faith. It was much easier to do then than it is now. I was not worried about sticking out in the crowd because I already did, my siblings and I were the only white people at the schools we went to.

     Over the years many people have influenced my life and I have gotten involved in different ministries to better serve God. very Every time I do some sort of ministry, I come out with a stronger faith. I have been trying to put the different gifts God has given me to good use. I have learned from these experiences. I have also learned from watching other people’s struggles.

     I made my profession of Faith at the age of 15. I had hoped to do so at an earlier age but was not given the chance. Now that I look back it was probably best that it did not work till then, God probably had a hand in this. By this time I was so much more excited to finally give my life fully to Christ, and confirm that I knew and accepted Christ as my savior and would live it out the rest of my days. This is still the case and it has become even more clear in life events since then.

    High school was slightly more difficult than any other period, not for the usual reasons however... It was not that I did not make friends or was bullied. I had plenty of friends. These were the years my parents decided to home-school me. I completely understand and agree with the reasons for which my parents chose to pull me out of the school system at this point. But it does not change the fact that it was very difficult for me. I love being around people and I found myself feeling quite lonely. For some reason this really affected me. What made things worse is even God felt somewhat distant from me. Even so, I still knew he was present and I could see the results of prayers and I could see His involvement in everything that surrounded me. I simply did not FEEL Him. It would be a lie to say that things are different now. I simply trust that I must continue seeking Him and that there will be moments where I can once again feel Him. I consider myself lucky for how prevalent He was in my life early on. There is a particular Bible passage I hold on to whenever I find myself confused or saddened by this reality in my life, Isaiah 35, it is a gorgeous passage that talks about how the dessert and parched places will turn into springs and we will enter Zion with singing. This reminds me that though there are deserts present in my life, God will turn them into springs of water and I will enter Zion with great singing (I do love singing!).

     Coming to Kuyper College has truly been one of the best decisions I have made in my life. I am a junior and I'm pursuing a career in Youth Ministry, which I would consider a type of missionary work. I have found that during my time at Kuyper my knowledge of the Bible and my connection to it have greatly increased. So many classes have directly impacted my life! I even got the chance to go to Israel for a spring term my freshman year. This experience greatly enriched my life with cultural and geographic connections I can now make as I read my Bible. When I read the names of certain cities I can picture in my mind at least the general area and habitat it is referring to.

     However things have not been completely rosy ever since coming to Kuyper. The summer after my freshman year I got into a car accident and it really shook me up. The truth is it could have been so much worse, and that is what scared me most. I know that God answered the prayer I kept repeating as my car spun out of control on the highway, that He would keep my car from rolling. This was confirmed by the mechanic who asked my brother how it was possible that my car had gotten such a strong impact to the sides that a few of my rims snapped and yet my car did not have any body damage, that it did not roll. From the damages to my car the mechanic said that two of my wheels had to have been in the air as my car spun, that by all accounts I should have rolled my car. I shouldn't have walked out of my car without a single scratch and mild back pain, it should have been much worse. God choose not only to let me live, but to let me continue to walk and function as I always have. I always used to romanticize stories about people being saved by God in miraculous ways, where it was apparent to anyone willing to look that something bigger than themselves is present in the world. My brother took the opportunity to tell the mechanic that it was because God was watching over me that my car did not roll, the mechanic just waved him off and imply allowed that he could not personally explain the situation. I do not know if it affected the life of this mechanic in any way. What I do know is that it affected mine. I know that God has a plan for me, a purpose for my life. If that was not the case, why would he have saved me from harm?

     There are many other stories in which I can clearly see God's presence in my life and many also of how  have grown in my own walk of Faith. However, these are the stories and tid-bits from my life that stick out for me at the moment. I do not know the exact direction in which God is leading me, but I do have a general idea that I am being led to ministry. I hope that as time goes on I may come closer and closer to God and that I may see His work in all the wonders that surround me. If God allows me to I hope to live a life of service to Him for many years to come, using the gifts and skills he gave me.

   

The study of the Bible

     This past week the spiritual discipline we studied in our class was that of study. First of all I am going to use the definition of study given by Foster in his book Celebration of Discipline: "Study is a specific kind of experience in which through careful attention to reality the mind is enabled to move in a certain direction." There is the initial experience of learning or finding something for the first time where you draw your first conclusions. "When this is done with concentration, perception, and repetition, ingrained habits of thought are formed." There are four steps involved in the discipline of study: Repetition, Concentration, Comprehension and Reflection.

     Study in the context of a Spiritual Discipline is employed in the reading of the Bible. The discipline of study is different from the one of meditation. Meditation is devotional and study is more analytical. There are still things that can be taken to heart yet it is from a analytic approach.

     I decided that the way I would employ this during this week was to repeatedly read 1 Corinthians 10:13. We were encouraged to do this reading twice a day for five days. I followed this for the most part but I did forget to do it one of the days. Thus I ended up reading the text a total of about 8 times. Each time I read the passage, different aspects of the passage stood out to me or I was able to understand it at a deeper level.

"If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 

If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

     As I read this passage for the second or third time I began to focus on the part of the passage that is not preached on often and seems to be very much overlooked. "For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." This actually applies to the discipline of study and of meditation. We see Jesus, we see God through the revelation we have in nature and in the Scriptures. This is as if they represent the mirror in which we can see Jesus and God and yet someday we will actually get to see them face to face!! I was a little confused as to how it is connected to love but then I realized that God is love and the only thing that will remain for eternity is God and love, the very point the passage is trying to make. Thus we need to take into account these truths which are revealed in scripture in order to better understand God with what we do know and realize until the day we see Him face to face and fully understand love.

     I found that overall I was able to better understand this passage and not only this but I found that the passage came to my mind at random times throughout the following days. I really liked how the repetition of the passage opened up my eyes to new things and expanded my understanding of a passage as a whole. I hope to employ this method of reading my Bible throughout the rest of my life.

The Power of Hunger

     Fasting is a spiritual discipline which many people seem to overlook. It gets associated far too often with a legalistic way of living. The truth of the matter is that it can be a wonderful gift to Christians. In fact it is clear from the Bible that Christ not only practiced this discipline but anticipated that His followers would as well. Fasting is to abstain from something; for the most part it is linked with abstaining from food. When it comes to fasting from food you can do a partial fast where you are allowed to drink fresh fruit juice or you can do a normal fast where you can only drink water.

     The purpose of fasting in Christianity is so that you may first and foremost have your heart lifted to God in prayer and praise throughout the day without the distraction of food. We need to let our hunger be a reminder to pray or dwell on God. Another great thing that comes from fasting is that it is a reminder of not only the blessings you have had in order to have food on a daily basis but also to think about those people who are not eating and it is not by choice. To think of children and adults who are feeling those same pangs of hunger but do not know if they will have a next meal or where it will come from.

     As we fast we learn to control our stomachs instead of being controlled by our hunger. “In many ways the stomach is like a spoiled child, and a spoiled child does not need indulgence, but needs discipline” (Foster, Celebration Of Discipline, 57) I feel that gluttony, one of the seven deadly sins, is very much overlooked and ignored in our culture. We feel that we should eat when we feel hungry, but when we eat every time we feel hungry or crave something we are practicing gluttony. We should eat what is necessary to be healthy but any more than that is very selfish. To think that there are people going hungry and yet we feel no qualms about not only eating three meals a day but snacking in between. This is truly eye opening.

     I decided that this week I would do a normal fast for a full 24-hour day. From 12 am one day till 12 am the next only drinking sips of water when I absolutely need to. My intention was to send small little prayers up to God no matter where I was, as soon as I got a hunger pang. I decided to also take the time to sit and pray during the time I usually eat lunch at school and then at home during my usual dinner-time.

     Today was the lucky day, and just in case you wondered… I am not being sarcastic. Currently I am an hour and a half away from completing my fast. I believed that it would be more powerful to write this blog while I was still in the midst of my fasting and yet towards the end so that I could write about most of my day. Right now my stomach is not overly happy with me, I feel week and slightly dizzy when I stand up, and I have had a headache for the second half of the day.

     I woke up this morning and got ready as usual, however I reminded myself not to bring breakfast with me to school because I was going to fast today. I arrived in class and immediately noticed the student in front of me enjoying a pop tart… my favorite kind of pop tart… I tried to ignore this fact at first but then embraced it as a reminder to myself that I was fasting and that I was not going to hide from food but instead fight the urge to eat myself.

     I found that the closer it came to lunch time the more I noticed my stomach and the hunger pains that were increasing with time. When it came time for lunch I was approached by friend whom I do not get the chance to speak to often and simply could not bring myself to push her aside in order to do my planned prayer for this time. Instead I sat there with my friend and continued to send small prayers up to heaven when the pain got stronger. I then had to journey by the cafeteria to get something and it was pure torture. The food smelled so incredibly good! I managed to get what I needed and then head to my next class. When I arrived in class there were other students who had brought lunch in with them. I did not realize just how often I am surrounded by food!

     I kept momentarily forgetting that I was not supposed to eat, that I was fasting, because I would see some sort of food or restaurant and my hunger was so present that my first thought was oh I should eat that! Then in the next second I would realize wait… no I’m not supposed to eat anything, I’m fasting, I’m supposed to be feeling hungry.

     Once I was home and it was dinner-time I was able to take some time to sit and read my Bible. A verse that stuck out was Hebrews 2:18 “Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.” I smiled the moment I read this verse because it fit in so perfectly with what I had been dealing with all day. So many times I had been so very tempted to eat something because my stomach is screaming out for food, I’m still so very tempted. Yet, then I am reminded that I am doing this for good reasons, the world doesn't revolve around me or what I feel like I need at any moment.

     As I sit here with not much longer to go I can’t help but contemplate on how lucky I am. My mouth is dry, I can feel pain from my throat down to my achy stomach, I have a throbbing headache, I have the horrible taste from some acid reflux from about half an hour ago still in my mouth…. Yet I feel so blessed! Why? Because this was my choice! I know that as soon as this time is up I have food in my pantry and in my fridge that I can eat. There are people out there who have these same symptoms and there is nothing they can do about it, in fact there are many, many people who are far hungrier than I am right now. The reason I am so very hungry and why my body is reacting this way is because I have had the opportunity to try new foods and have large meals the past few days and so my stomach was being spoiled and then I just pulled the plug. The reason others are feeling this pain or far worse pain due to hunger is because they have not eaten in days, or weeks, maybe even months! This pulls at my heart strings and makes me feel so guilty that I so often take food for granted.

     The next time I fast I will try to make it longer than a day, I also plan to figure out how much money I saved and donate the money or that amount of food to a food pantry or some organization that is focused on feeding people. Maybe I can even convince people at school to fast with me and make it a community event where we encourage each other throughout the day or days, pray together for those who are in need, praise God for his blessings and his provisions in our own lives, and all work together to send money to those who are truly hungry.